Dear Matthew:   I am having a birthday in June, where I am going to a restaurant, and would like for my friends to join me. What would be the proper wording I should use to indicate that everyone must pay for his or her own dinner and drinks? Thanks, Lulu

 

Dear LuLu:   Whether your party invitations are verbal, sent via e-mail, or by traditional mail, you will need to be very clear since there is a lot of room for confusion here.  Some guests may think that they are being asked to pay a portion of your dinner and drinks if you don't word things carefully.  Also, you want to take into account the fact that some of the guests may not be in a position to purchase dinner and drinks, even for themselves.
 
The party invitations should leave options for the guests.  Here's an example, "My birthday is coming up on the XX of this month and I'd like to spend my special day with special people in my life.  The gathering will be informal.  In lieu of gifts, please plan on purchasing your own dinner and drinks, if desired.  Those planning on meeting for dinner should come at 7 PM while those who would like to stop by for drinks and socializing should come at 8:30 PM."
 
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To make this method work more smoothly, I suggest that you pick a "bar and grille" type place in which people are likely to go up to the bar and order food as they want it because that will require them to pay each time.
 
Who know party invitations could be so complicated?  Enjoy your birthday and have an extra piece of cake for me.