DATING A MARRIED MAN
Dear Matthew: I'm a smart, educated, and attractive 28-year-old woman. My problem is that I attract married men. Currently, I'm in my third relationship with one. This one has lasted about a year. Everything was going fine until a couple weeks ago when I accidentally bumped into him and his wife and kids while they were shopping at the mall. I waved hello from a distance, but he ditched me by leaving the store we were in. Later, I saw him again in the food court area. I waited until he went to the counter alone. When I approached him, he first ignored me, then he told me angrily never to talk to him in public again! I stood there bawling. He didn’t care; he went back to the table, gathered his wife and children hastily and took off. Now I'm just furious! Should I tell his wife? – Miffed at the Mall
Dear Miffed: Somebody ought to be miffed at the mall, but it shouldn’t be you, the mistress; it should be the misses. I won’t doubt that you are educated and attractive, but smart? Not when it comes to relationships. Did you honestly think that this married man would come running up to you with open arms in front of his wife and kids? You're lucky he didn’t call mall security and report that you were a crazed stalker. You said that prior to this, “Everything was going fine.” Well, it really wasn’t. Nothing is fine in a situation in which you have to steal somebody else’s husband. Every second he spends with you or thinking about you deprives his children of their father. That is not fine. You said your problem is that you attract married men. That is not the problem. The problem is that you have relationships with men who should be unavailable to you. In fact, they are unavailable, regardless of how much time they spend in your bed.
You must never see a married man again! All the time you waste with married men not only degrades you as a person, it also wastes time you could be using to find a decent single man. Please work on finding one of a higher quality than the married men, namely find a single man who will not cheat on you once you and he are married. Finally, no, you should not tell his wife. You should tell him to tell his wife! Tell him that he will or you will…my guess is that he will. Then you might want to really prove that you have matured by writing his wife a letter of apology and mailing it. (Don’t bring it in person, as she may not be thrilled to see you.) Let the letter be your closure. Move on and date single men only!
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