Dear Holly: Yours is a thought-provoking dilemma.  So few people have the courage of their convictions these days, it’s refreshing to hear from someone who does.  Times have changed on this matter, that’s for sure.  Way back, people only spoke of teen pregnancy in hushed tones, now they are “proudly announcing it” as you say.  Either way, it's nice of you to be concerned enough about other people to still want to be decent towards them even when you don’t agree with them.  The easiest solution here is to offer your best wishes phrased carefully.  There's no need to give congratulations that you don’t genuinely feel. I suggest a polite smile accompanied by, “I've just heard your news. I hope the baby is happy and healthy.”  Clearly, you would wish that of any expectant mother regardless of the circumstances that led to the pregnancy.  The saying goes, “The Lord loves a cheerful giver,” so you should avoid a group gift if it is something strictly for the mother, as this would lead you to be resentful.  That is hardly the spirit of giving.  Instead, you could opt to purchase something on your own such as a toy or outfit that would be used by the baby.